“Be the weirdo who dares to enjoy.” — Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
A couple of months ago, I found myself painting an elephant. It was one of those events with an instructor taking a sizable group of us through the intricacies of elephant portraiture stroke by stroke. You can see the end result for yourself — this canvas will not be finding its way into any fine art galleries any time soon!
But you know what? I enjoyed the heck out of creating that ill-proportioned, awkward-looking behemoth. I savored the feeling of the brush squishing in fresh paint and the whispering sound it made as it whooshed across the textured canvas. I marveled at the colors I created on my paper plate pallet; the way such a tiny drop of white could shift the entire vibrancy of a hue.
Meanwhile, all around me, my table mates could be heard grunting and grumbling, with mounting frustration and discouragement. Harsh self-judgments, embarrassment, comparison, and shame echoed all around. I found myself feeling sorry for these disenchanted artists. They were so busy holding themselves to lofty standards of elephant painting that they were missing out on all the joy I was relishing. But I could well identify with their plight: how often have I found myself similarly criticizing my imperfect efforts when I could have been having fun with my shortcomings instead?
It was a moment that crystallized for me the importance of focusing on being present to the process over evaluating the outcome. The difference between me and the grumblers wasn’t that I was a better painter or a more naturally cheerful person, it was simply that I had set a different focal point for my experience. Being present to the process set me up for joy and wonder; focusing on the outcome set them up for frustration and disappointment.
The holidays are coming, and with them increased opportunities for grunting and grumbling. Between social pressures and self-imposed expectations, we often hold unexamined, lofty goals that turn our attention toward evaluating outcomes. Such an outcomes-over-process perspective sets us up for anxiously trying to avoid perceived failures and harshly criticizing ourselves when we fall short, both of which make it more difficult to relax and enjoy the (supposedly) “most wonderful time of the year.”
What might happen if we could apply the same principle that leads to joyful elephant painting to our holiday endeavors? As you anticipate upcoming holiday plans, which ones are most likely to bring out anxious thoughts or self-critical feelings? What are the outcomes on which you might tend to focus, distracting yourself from opportunities for finding joy? Now take a moment to shift your focus to aspects surrounding the process of those activities that you are most likely to enjoy. Imagine what it might be like to hold those life-giving elements of your experience in the forefront of your attention. How might your experience shift as your focus shifts?
As Elizabeth Gilbert aptly stated, enjoying anything in life is often a courageous act that sets us apart. When the expected stress of the season arises within and around us, “paint the elephant” can serve as a motto that redirects our thoughts and restores our sense of calm.
“Paint the elephant.”
Bring your attention to being present to the process instead of worrying about outcomes.
“Paint the elephant.”
Relish whatever goodness you can cling to in your experiences, even when they fall short of your hopes or expectations.
“Paint the elephant.”
Allow yourself to make mistakes, to get it wrong, and yet … to have a grand time anyway.
Featured image credit: RhondaK / Unsplash